In flight entertainment

     With dreams about the future I boarded the A380 on wings of hope, to a new beginning. Within its huge body was an even impressive interior. It was not my first meeting with the giant. The last time I met him, I was seated in the first row. This time I was allotted a seat somewhere in the middle. If there was a -(minus) sign in google for airline seats I would have -ed (minused) the middle rows. The only plus this time was that I got a chance to check out the length of the plane and this time he seemed as immense as he seemed the first time I saw him.

     The last time I traveled in it I felt like I was in a baloon. I could feel the flight, but there were no vibrations, no noise. This time around I could feel the flight, there was noise, vibrations and the usual headache. I was seated right on top of the wings. I exchanged my window seat with a gentleman in the aisle seat. He must have wondered what made him agree to my request after he changed seats. All that he could see was the huge wing and absolutely nothing else.

     The in flight entertainment was great but I decided to skip it for something worthwhile. I decided to read a book- "ZAHIR". The plane took off without me even realising it. The book carried me through the take off and it was not until the flight had reached its cruising altitude that my attention was drawn to a person sitting on the other side of the aisle. (I should call him something as he is the main character in this incident and after a lot of thought I have decided, I am going to name him Sameer for this post, my name.) He was one of those who was more interested in what was playing on my screen than his own. He must have been disappointed as my screen was switched off and I was busy reading my book. He then tried to read my book from his seat and that drew my attention to hime. I gave him a wierd smile, the 'I caught you - you idiot' smile, the same smile that my friends used to give me whenever they caught me flirting with a girl. I decided to end his misery and show him the name of the book. I was irritated. I closed the book and thrust the cover page of the book right in front of his face as if inviting him to have a look. A girl wandering in a desert. In the center was written the author's name in white bold letters and the the name of the book was printed in the lower part in black italicised  fonts. Sameer returned me a smile, the 'I am sorry - but this is what I usually do' smile.

The freedom of the birds

(A letter from Sameer and my reply to it)

My dearest,

     Its been five days now and I am stuck at the first line. Do you remember the story that we used hear when we were young? The story of a small boy who wanted to fly, who wanted to feel the freedom of the birds. Yet he never jumped off the cliff fearing that he might never be able to see his loved ones again. He wished that one of his friends would push him and set him free, but they never did. He stood there, holding the parachute in his hands, wishing that it was an angel who would always land him safely. He stood there, for eternity, waiting for this angel. I have been feeling the same for quite some time. I want to feel free again but I fear the angel will never come.

     You always knew that I had something to tell you, something that I was hiding from all. Five days back I finally found the courage to sit and scribble something to you. I have managed to write "My dearest". I am holding the parachute, I have been holding it for a long time. You have been with me all through my life and its only you that I always turn for help when I am lost. And I am lost again. I am holding that parachute again.

     Eda, after seven long years, I am leaving this place, a place that has given a lot to me. This is where I chose to hide when the whole world seemed to be working on a plan to wreck me. This is the place where I found that I had the strength to fight, the strength to carry on in the midst of all those struggles. And yet when I think of leaving, I am not sad. I am not sad, because I am moving out with renewed hope, dreams and intent. Those hopes and dreams were kept alive, not by me alone, but by family, friends and friends of friends. Some of them live here, right here with me in this remote inhospitable desert.

     Someone has rightly said, any place on earth is only as good as the people you know there. You can be in the most sought -after place in the world and still feel empty without friends. There are some who don't like this place, always whining and cursing their fates. But what I found here was a treasure of some fabulous friends. I once thought that life in this place was not for us, but now I know, friends like these make life a paradise, anywhere in the world.

     You know each of my friends here. All sorts of nationalities and languages, but something common binds us all. We have shared almost everything from bed sheets, towels, to personal life and secrets. Its a bond that is made strong because of the sharing. We shared because we knew that the secrets shared with friends will never come back to haunt us. But something is haunting me now. I want to free myself, I want to feel the freedom again. I want to jump. I want to tell them all that I have hidden.

     I tried jumping, many times in fact. The last time I tried, we were in one of those parties that we have for no reason. Everyone was there. It was my vacation party. We were celebrating and everyone of them was there. The US returned scientist who really thinks he is working very hard, the smelly chemist who loves types of music that our mediocre sense cant comprehend, the cricket team captain who bowled 15(FIFTEEN) wides in an over, the manager who is the only senior citizen in the group, the statistician who always got his personal calculation wrong, the body builder who appears from nowhere whenever we open a can of juice, our only chain smoker and of course the anti-mallu whom I always love to pick a fight with. We all are fortunate that we have such a great pool of guys, fundamentally different yet who found something in common that made us all friends. . Trust, truth and openness. Even when we fought we knew that all of us were genuine and truthful. Laughing out our worries was fun with them around