With dreams about the future I boarded the A380 on wings of hope, to a new beginning. Within its huge body was an even impressive interior. It was not my first meeting with the giant. The last time I met him, I was seated in the first row. This time I was allotted a seat somewhere in the middle. If there was a -(minus) sign in google for airline seats I would have -ed (minused) the middle rows. The only plus this time was that I got a chance to check out the length of the plane and this time he seemed as immense as he seemed the first time I saw him.
The last time I traveled in it I felt like I was in a baloon. I could feel the flight, but there were no vibrations, no noise. This time around I could feel the flight, there was noise, vibrations and the usual headache. I was seated right on top of the wings. I exchanged my window seat with a gentleman in the aisle seat. He must have wondered what made him agree to my request after he changed seats. All that he could see was the huge wing and absolutely nothing else.
The in flight entertainment was great but I decided to skip it for something worthwhile. I decided to read a book- "ZAHIR". The plane took off without me even realising it. The book carried me through the take off and it was not until the flight had reached its cruising altitude that my attention was drawn to a person sitting on the other side of the aisle. (I should call him something as he is the main character in this incident and after a lot of thought I have decided, I am going to name him Sameer for this post, my name.) He was one of those who was more interested in what was playing on my screen than his own. He must have been disappointed as my screen was switched off and I was busy reading my book. He then tried to read my book from his seat and that drew my attention to hime. I gave him a wierd smile, the 'I caught you - you idiot' smile, the same smile that my friends used to give me whenever they caught me flirting with a girl. I decided to end his misery and show him the name of the book. I was irritated. I closed the book and thrust the cover page of the book right in front of his face as if inviting him to have a look. A girl wandering in a desert. In the center was written the author's name in white bold letters and the the name of the book was printed in the lower part in black italicised fonts. Sameer returned me a smile, the 'I am sorry - but this is what I usually do' smile.
I give him yet another 'I caught you' smile as I continued to read my book. I had been immersed in it. It was after a long time that a book had engulfed my soul. I was angry at myself for having allowed this peeping tom to disrupt my peace. I continued reading, but my soul was no longer in it. It was with Sameer. I allowed myself another glimpse at him and I couldnt resist my smile the 'you are such a silly person' smile. His eyes were everywhere except his own screen. The young man with a small beard was right next to him on his left side. His screen would have burst burst any time, such was the gaze from Sameer. He was watching Transporter and the hero was busy rescuing a very slim girl. The young man was oblivious to all the illicit attention. Sameer's next prey was a gentleman sitting directly in front of my seat, middle aged man in a pure white traditional dress. To his right was his son, probably 3-4 years old and to the child's right was his mother in all black abaya and a hijab covering her face. Sameer was now keen spying on the man. But I couldnt get a glimpse on him as he was right in front of me. His son was playing a video game, football. It was Argentina vs Brazil. His mother was immersed in some show of her native language.
To the man's left on the other side of the aisle was a young man, probably in his late twenties. He seemed to be of the same nationality as Sameer. Sameer couldn't get a glimpse of him as he was seated right in front of him. The seat was blocking him and I could sense Sameer's curiosity. Next to him was a small girl, about 6-7 years old. She was wearing a green top with full sleeves. The man was probably her guardian, but not her father. He was too young to be her father. She was trying to watch a Hindi movie and finally settled for Harry Potter. The seats in front of these two were probably occupied by the girls parents. They were frequently checking on her and she was upset, probably angry that her mother was coming between her and Hermione.
Sameer's expressions changed suddenly as he saw something which I thought he must have enjoyed very much. Sameer's eyes were wide open. The hostess was bringing us our meals and he was enjoying what he was seeing. The food trolley had stuck up and she was trying to free it. In doing so she bent down and was facing the other side with her back towards us. All Sameer could see was her back in a tight pants and a jacket over her top that barely reached her belly. Sameer might have wished he had X ray vision and it felt as if his eyes would pop out any time. But for me she was nothing more than a highly paid staff specially trained to serve us. A lovely old couple was trying to pass the trolley, probably following nature's call. But the trolley was refusing to give them the access they required. The hostess gave them an 'I am sorry- but I am doing something here, so you better wait' smile and said, "just a minute, madam". The couple insisted and for a second, the real person inside the hostess surfaced. She lost control and shot back at the couple to hold on for some time. It was rude. She was meant to serve them. Sameer was thinking about how people like her might be leading lead their lives. She must have slept with five different men in the last ten days. Her value for relationships must be like how a bitch values her mates. Only people like that treat others with such disrespect, especially elders. A bitch always remains a bitch no matter who the owner is. Taken aback, the couple slowly trailed her who was serving row by row very slowly, may be on purpose to frustrate the couple.
Sameer's thoughts some how radiated into my mind. I too could now see Messi again failing to score for his country even if it was only in a video game, the arabic film that the lady in front of me was watching, the little girl watching Harry who was looking tired in the never ending fight, her gaurdian trying to make compromise between her and her mother. My attention then turned to the the hostess and the couple behind her, who were nearing me . The hostess was looking beautiful. She was near me and I couldn't focus on the tight pants and the shortish top that went up a little giving a glimpse of her enticing skin whenever she reached to serve someone in the window seat. I was afraid that she might catch me doing it. But something on her top caught my attention. A small golden plate displayed her name in small but striking red font. ASHWATHY it read and I slowly lowered my head and as I gazed into my book and I started smiling, trying to make it look as if I was laughing at something in my book. I was smiling because that name was familiar. I remembered a friend of mine from my college days with the same name and she was by strange coincidence, in the very same profession. I remember Ashwathy, a cute, simple and lovely person. She was the darling of the guys in the class, not because she flirted with all of us but because we found in her what we didn't see in the other girls of the class. True and genuine friendship. I still remember we used to tell her that she should have been a boy for no other girl was as simple and straight forward as she was. Our Ashwathy was now one of these girls and I wondered if she too had became a bitch like this one.
I started feeling bad for having even thought of Ashwathy like that. She was such a sweet girl and would never hurt any only like that, especially this sweet old couple that was trailing the trolley. Or may be this hostess was not that bad after all. She was near me now and was asking me what I wanted, 'chicken or veg'. I had to stop pretending to read and was forced to look at her to answer. "What would you like sir, chicken or lamb with rice?" she asked again. I saw a genuine smile, the 'how are you' smile in the questioning face. "Chicken" I said with a 'thank you for being polite to me' smile on my face. My favorite orange juice was not available. Instead she offered me some nice apple juice this time, and I was left satisfied with nothing to complain as she moved on to the row behind me. The old couple were still trailing her. Slowly the three reached the toilets and only then the couple got the chance to pass the trolley to the comfort rooms. The door was stuck and the old lady was trying to force open it. Ashwathy went in and helped them open the door. I was trying hard not to be noticed as I was watching the three writing the climax of their short play. It was difficult for me as half of my body was in the aisle, stretching to get a glimpse of what was happening between Ashwathy and the couple.
It soon stuck me that watching others like this was not a very nice thing to do, I returned back to my lunch, trying to be as natural as possible with everything that I was doing. I got a glimpse of Sameer watching everything that I was doing. He gave me the 'I caught you' smile - the same smile that I gave him just an hour earlier when he was trying to read my book. As if not knowing the meaning of the smile I continued with the lunch, but my over-eagerness made me look at him again, this time directly at his face. I got the same smile again, but this time it was accompanied with his fingers pointing to my platter, as if asking me not to bother about what is happening around and instead asking me to eat my lunch. Sameer didnt have a book to shove in front of my face and he couldn't use Aswathy the same way as I used my book when he tried to read it, so he must have thought it was better to use his fingers to make his point. But I understood what he meant. I returned this smile with the 'you caught me but I don't like your attitude' smile and continued with my lunch. But my mind was elsewhere. This Ashwathy was not a bitch. She seemed to be genuine when she smiled. Similar to the Ashwathy that I knew. May be it was because of the name that I am seeing her in a different light. All kinds of thoughts were criss-crossing my mind. Sameer's rude behaviour to me, how can I have my revenge before the flight lands. Was the couple to be blamed for everything? Was Ashwathy acting in front of me? Was she really nice or a bitch? Then I felt ashamed of thinking bitchy things about her yet again. She was not a bitch just because she is serving me food. She was so nice when she opened the door for the lady. Or was my mind the real culprit thinking bad about others without reason. Or was I envying the life that Ashwathy has? Was it bad to have insulted Sameer in the first place? Was he the reason for me to stray away from my ZAHIR? Was I rude with him when all he tried to do was to know what I was reading. Maybe he was an avid reader and just wanted to know what I reading. Was I the real culprit? After all I too enjoyed watching all the people that Sameer was curiously watching. Or was Sameer was innocent? Was Sameer just an excuse for me to peep into what others were doing. I didn't realise when I had finished my lunch and when Ashwathy had come back and collected my plate. By the time I came back to reality from my thoughts she had already finished cleaning up my row and was three rows in front of me.
I came back to my senses and I realised I was the real culprit there. The best way to forget all this was forget Sameer, forget Ashwathy, forget the old couple, forget the foot ball, forget Hermoine, forget everything around and to get back to my Zahir. I was smiling in my mind, 'the I should change' smile as I slowly got absorbed into Zahir. I felt thirsty and needed some water to relax and continue with my book. There was no one around to serve me. So I pressed a button in my hand rest to summon someone near me. Some one came, from behind. She was a .......(i am not mentioning her nationality, you guys fill it up). "How can I help you?" She asked me with a 'tell me fast' smile as if I was disturbing her in the middle something very important. Wasn't this her job, and wasn't I important, I thought. "Please bring me some water", I asked her. "Just wait for a second" she replied, as if wanting me to understand that it will take her 30 minutes as she had something very important to do. That was rude. Very rude, I thought as she walked past me to do something that was much more important than giving me a drink. What else could we expect from people like her, I thought. May be she was going into the pilots cabin to please them? May be she is sitting on their laps now.....I wanted to read. But the screens came back to me. Messi finally scored a goal but this time against Saudi Arabia, Hermione was doing something with the her wand, the guardian next to her was sleeping, her mother was busy with the person next to her, probably her father, Sameer was watching Hermione in the girl's screen, and I was trying to read my book. The same feeling of me being wrong surfaced again. The same cycle of guilt. And I decided for the second time that I should go and join my Zahir. And I started reading Zahir again.....
No comments:
Post a Comment